Skip to main content

choice and change

Each day that I write I feel I leave a dozens of thoughts unwritten like threads unwoven. There are so many layers and connection to each of the topics I've touched on so far and hopefully as I continue I will be able to circle back and go deeper.

Today, amidst all the protesting that is happening, it feels like maybe mine is not the voice that needs to be heard. It feels hard to write. 

It seems like an important moment to step back and listen, observe and learn. If there were a conflict or disruption in my classroom, this is what I would do too. I may need to respond or react in the moment but I can also reflect and learn from my reactions. Some of the most valuable lessons and most positive solutions have come when I can listen, observe and get curious about what's really happening and why. When I stop assigning blame or thinking that I have all the answers. 

So often as parents and teachers we can get caught in thinking we know what is best or even caught in the thought that we "should" know what is best. We don't have to have all the answers. We're here to learn too. A "misbehavior" is simply a mode of communication. It's a child's attempt to get our attention and point to a need or a missing skill. When I reframe a "misbehavior" as a call for help then the real work can begin. What does this child need? How can I respond appropriately? These are opportunities for me to learn and strengthen my skills too.

We cannot change or control the behavior of others but we can learn to control and change our own behavior and how we react to conflict. I wonder what might happen if we really applied that in our current situation? Instead of judging the behavior of others, if we really took a look at our own actions and reactions. What if we got curious and looked at this as an opportunity to listen and learn?

Becoming conscious of hurtful patterns and the willingness to change those patterns is the greatest gift we can give children. Becoming conscious allows us to access our own wisdom and remain calm in the face of antagonism and disorder. It is the foundation of choice and change.

from Conscious Discipline website
 
It's also the greatest gift we can give each other. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

grace

Sometimes when I tell people that I'm a teacher they say something like, "I don't know how you do it!" and I laugh and reply "I don't know either!" But the truth is, I do know: I'm not the one doing it. So who or what is? Well, you can call it what you want - grace, magic, energy, intuition, Divine Mother or God - but sooner or later you start to realize there is something else at work that you can't quite see or fully understand.  I had a sweet, magical moment one afternoon that reminded me that Divine Mother knows just what each of us needs in each moment. I had gone down to the Village center to use the stronger internet connection to upload something for my class. While I was there waiting for things to upload I sat in this beautiful communal space all by myself feeling a bit sad and out of sorts. Not even a few moments later a little boy from the community came walking by and went to check on a nest of birds they'd been watching in a bus...
Post a Comment
Read more

skylights

Swami Kriyananda once shared a superconscious dream he had where he talked with Yogananda about a difficult situation saying "The doors are closed." Yogananda's response: "Don't overlook the possibility of a skylight" and then he added, "A sense of adventure is needed." We are definitely looking for skylights these days when it comes to planning for the upcoming school year. The number of considerations and possibilities seem endless. Now this can seem frustrating and overwhelming but it can also seem incredibly expansive.  Anything is could happen.  There's at least two ways you could say that: with a sense of dread or a sense of excitement. Will we trudge through, wishing it could be otherwise, focused on all that is lacking? Or will we embrace the opportunity before us to completely reimagine our school year and the learning experience we provide? So far it seems, we are choosing to have a sense of adventure. The ideas that are coming up see...
Post a Comment
Read more

difficult conversations

The energy it takes to avoid a difficult conversation is much more uncomfortable than the energy it takes to have the conversation. Many times it's the anticipation is many times worse than the actual conversation. Our minds play out all sorts of worst case scenarios.  This is in the case where we know the conversation is coming. But what about when we suddenly find ourselves in the middle of, or even listening in on, a conversation that suddenly becomes uncomfortable? Perhaps someone has said or done something disagreeable, confusing or unexpected. These things happen regularly in the classroom - kids really do say and do the "darndest things." They say and do mean things to each other without thinking. But these moments are also just a part of life. The question is, how do we react or respond?  Most of us fight, freeze or flee. It's how our brains are hardwired to respond to stressful situations. The problem is, this response gets in the way of learning and growth. ...
Post a Comment
Read more